Going After A Man You Love

Men and women have attractions for each other. It is however a common practice for men to always make the first advances. This has posed the question on whether it is right and proper for women to also make the first move. Kehinde Ajobiewe writes.

A bugging question ladies do ask is, “Is it right for a lady to ask a guy out?” Well, since the beginning, man has always been the head of the family, and therefore should be responsible for initiating a relationship. And even the Holy Bible says, “he that finds a wife finds a good thing…”, and not the other way round.

Because of this, most women often find it difficult to approach the opposite sex when they are attracted to them. Rather, they prefer to suffer so much heartache when the men they are attracted to do not even notice them, not to talk of asking them out.

In the Western world, people don’t see anything wrong with a lady asking a guy she admires out on a date, even if it means seducing him. But in a country like ours, where so much is attached to a lady valuing her pride and what have you, any lady that approaches a guy first on a date is often tagged a prostitute or a woman with no pride at all.

But inasmuch as ladies do like it when guys ask them out on dates, some still get tempted to make the first move when the attraction becomes too strong.

Stephanie, on her part, says: “I have told many guys that I was interested in them, and I have been rejected more times than anyone I know. For me, I just couldn’t sit still until I let it out.

Now that I’ve been single for a long while and have had a few interests, I’ve prayed about it first, and then, gotten to know the person. And I’ll tell you… God revealed each of their characters to me and I didn’t have to really do much else. It saved me some heartache, honestly, and I am grateful.

Whether or not it’s good for a woman to approach a man, I don’t know; but, I can only tell what has happened through my own personal experiences. My advice is to pray about the person’s role in your life and see what the Holy Spirit says.”

Mrs. Toyin Smart, a married mother of two, said it is not right for a lady to approach a man first with the intention of professing her love for him. “The best thing a lady can do if she is attracted to a man is to warm her way into his heart by doing things that will make the man notice her. And when she eventually does that, it is left to him to approach her,” she said.

She also added that any woman that approaches a man first for a relationship will be tagged as being cheap. According to her: “Before I got married, I went to so many counselling sessions and my marriage counsellor used to say it is the duty of a man to ask a woman out first and not the other way round. It has been so right from the beginning, and any woman that asks a man out first can never earn the respect of such a man.”

Jenny, a single lady, said if she sees any guy she loves and has not noticed her, that she would do everything within her power to make him notice her, and finally ask her out for a date.

“If I see any man I like, I would always be in the same place with him, walk in front of him, greet him with smiles whenever I see him, and so on and so forth. All these, I will do until he notices me. But I won’t open my mouth to be the first to tell that I like him and want a relationship with him.”

In his own opinion, Roland feels there is nothing wrong with it. “It is not wrong. In the past, it would have been unheard of for a girl to ask a guy out, because such girl would be tagged as cheap.

But in these present days, if the girl is enlightened and exposed, the guy should count it a privilege that such a lady is asking him out.”

Although it may be ideal for men to approach women first, but they are not the only ones that are first attracted to the opposite sex. Sometimes, you hear women say words like, “this guy is so cute, I love his height” to their fellow women about guys they are attracted to.

While so many ladies just tell their friends about things they like or wish for secretly, that such guys they are so attracted to could touch, hold or even ask them out, the outgoing or “bad girl” would drop her pride and approach a guy she is attracted to and tell him things like, “I like you, you are handsome”, or even ask him out on a date.

However, it is not wise in all situations for a lady to approach a man first. It is better for the man to take the lead, because guys don’t like to be pressured into doing things. There are guys that will never date a lady that asks them out first because they feel such a lady is desperate.

But that doesn’t mean that a lady cannot go the extra mile of making a guy she admires so much to notice her. And she can do that by laughing at everything he says, complimenting him, and always wanting to be around him and things like that.

But above all, there is nothing like praying to God to give you the man of your dream, who will approach you first for a relationship, and also love and cherish you for the rest of your life.