Relationships are not perfect. Every once in a while we quarrel with our partner over some serious or not so serious matters. You have a bad day at work and you are stressed out and she/he starts to annoy you but whatever the reasons for your quarrel, there are various ways to settle.
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Reasons for quarreling could be serious, like some financial matters or just mundane things like where she put the toothpaste etc. Sometimes couples quarrel with the slightest provocations and it usually is a symptom of some bigger problems in the relationship.
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The earlier disputes are resolved, the better it would be for both of you because most times if allowed to persist for a long time, it would grow to affect daily activities and output.
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To avoid and settle disputes with your partner, here are a few guides:
• Give each other time to collect thoughts while waiting for a good time to talk to your partner after you have quarreled over something. Then approach your partner and ask for a good time to talk things over. Don’t try to approach him/her when they are doing something or watching their favorite sports or T.V program.
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• Be positive and do not immediately ask your partner for a separation.
• Try to calm down and talk when you are both settled.
Also, you could try some of the lines below for a nice conversation statement when you approach him or her after there has been a quarrel:
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I am sorry sweetheart, big lettering will do. Post it in a place where he or she is sure to see it. You can overact on it and say stuff like, Honey you have to talk to me or else, I will kill my self and you are going to miss me. (Just jokingly).
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Whether you think you are the one who caused the quarrel or not, it is good if you settle it immediately when the two of you are ready to talk. It does not mean be-littling yourself, but bear in mind that a relationship is not about oneself but about the two of you together, making each other happy. In essence, you become one. Always try to preserve a good relationship, nurturing it always.
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• Be prepared about what you intend to tell your partner, try to avoid insults and don’t try accusing them. .
• Be honest and tell your partner that you have been hurt and want to patch things up and ask what you can do to improve. Be sincere about it and if you promise your partner to avoid doing those things that cause you problems next time, be sure to mean what you say and act on them remember that actions they say, speaks louder than words. If you keep on promising and not fulfilling, it would amount to another story.
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• Listen while they are talking and try to understand where they are coming from. Always put yourself in your partner’s shoes, try to ask yourself, if I do that to her, will she get hurt?
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•Apologise if you think you are mistaken about an issue and you must mean it. Don’t nag and accuse your partner and don’t dwell so much on the past that it brings back past quarrels. Most importantly, concentrate on the cause of your latest quarrel, be sensitive to your partners needs , show respect and love each other dearly even while patching things up.